emo post warning

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today is very moody for some reasons...
knowing that i m a bad drinker...
even 5% will make me feel like puking
i still drank, hoping that it will bring away my sorrows deep down in my heart, far far behide my smiles...

i cry out to you lord, help me...

why do ppl still says immature?
i just want to do things this way!
this way makes me feel happier by bit!
size dun matters huh...
!#^%$&%*^$&* ....





My path is very foggy now, everythings just seems so bad...



Cooking is the only thing i'm good with...
I maybe "good" here
but at my class i'm the weakest...

i seriously dunno what to do..
i work hard, but all seems to be in vain
yes i improve by a step
others improve by leap

i dun deserve ...
... deserve better...
deep in my heart i wish that . will fly w some1 better.
in another part of my heart i wish that . will be by my side

jocelyn you say that i have to self psyco that i can do it
but i seriously cant do that self psyco myself... things is so...
thx joce tan for listening to my path as a chef its v foggy ...

i'm trying not to compare w others... weak means weak, strong means strong...
but in this situation wise
i felt being force to compare
only to find sorrow...
tears drop at wee hrs...
no one seems to understand me...
only u oh lord...
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A verse i found
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"Though you made me see troubles, many and bitters, you will restore my life again; from the depths of earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once agian (Psalms 71:20-21)"
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i always tell others to trust in God...
but i is easy to say...

Lord i pray that
I will trust you that you will restore me and comfort me ...
it takes time to restore me n comfort me...
i want to be still and know that you are God, amen...
free me lord...